A disgraced ex-cop’s apology, for the record

Retired Winnipeg Police Service Const. Michael Hall’s full written apology, as read by him to Judge Sandra Chapman during his child pornography sentencing Wednesday.

“Your Honour, I stand here in front of you ashamed, disgusted and remorseful and full of guilt. I want to express my feelings and understandings of what I have done to you and those in this courtroom and to offer all of the people I’ve hurt an honest apology from my heart.

I first want to address how horrific this crime is and how it affects the children whom these computer pictures display. I feel disgusted and ashamed to have been part of such a sickening crime that robs these kids of their innocence and affects them negatively for their entire lifetime.

I am truly sorry to them and I give them my heartfelt apology.

I also want to address how I affected the life of my family that I once had, I had a loving daughter and a loving fiancee that I was to wed this year. After the arrest, their worlds fell apart into chaos. I left my daughter without her father for over a year now. No daughter should ever be put through going without a father.

And I haven’t forgiven myself for missing this year of her life.

(Name withheld) is my daughter whom I love more than anything else and the most important person in my life and I’m very sorry that I haven’t been a dad to her.

I also want to express remorse to (name withheld) my ex-fiancee, and that I’m so sorry for putting her through this. She’s an amazing woman — never deserved the pain I caused in her life and I give her my sincere apology.

I also want to express how I affected the life of my parents. They have supported my throughout my life with all my positive achievements, and they have supported me through this negative ordeal as well. Emotionally, my parents have endured excruciating sadness and shame that I have caused them, and I am so embarrassed and ashamed to have let them down. I am sorry for what I have done.

My actions have had a wide-spread negative effect reaching to my past co-workers, friends and friends I no longer have. And undermining the laws that society had in place.

I will say I’m sorry to all those that I’ve affected.

I also would like you to know Your Honour that I have lost everything in my previous life because of my horrible actions and have been given the chance to start anew.

I feel I was at a crossroads in my life after the arrest, and I had the choice to either give up because of what transpired — what has happened to me transpired — or use every minute of every day in a positive way.

I want to be a father again and be an upstanding member of our society so I chose to start working hard to get there.

I found Christianity and I embrace every day now and I’m becoming an active member in my new church. I’m bettering myself with ongoing psychotherapy with Dr. Kolton.

I’m enrolled and currently in a post-graduate study to add to my degree. I’m working part-time to help with my daughter’s child-support.

I know I will never make these mistakes again in my life and I will achieve my goal of being a father for my daughter in giving her all the wonderful things life has to offer.

I’m sorry, Your Honour, for what I have done, and I hope society will forgive me for my actions and I may join them again as a positive individual.”

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